Return of the Body Snatcher

Marcus“Oh, but she PROMISED she would NEVER do that again.”

After our post on the “Out of Body Experience,” April swore she would never attempt another body swap. Well, we’re here to tell you that she did NOT keep her word!!

For months, we have been hearing a body rattling around in the closet, next door. But nothing ever came of it, so we simply thought it was just our imaginations. Then one day, a small package arrived at the door. April grabbed it and ran out without opening it. This is always suspicious because when it’s something for us–like the knee high boots with gold chrome stilettos that just came– she can’t wait to show us. A few minutes later, April returned with a new hunk in her hands. Blonde, attractive, medium built, but looking a bit disheveled, we immediately noticed he wasn’t one of the royals….or was he? Upon careful inspection (we tried not to let him know we were checking him over), it was clear…. he was a Frankendolly–part FR Homme (his head), part Ken (his body). A curious, yet intriguing new creature. Much, MUCH better than the traditional Ken dolls. Okay, April…’re forgiven just this once!!! (And we’ll forgive you some more if you can come up with a few more of these!!!)

“He’s kind of cute!!!” The girls who weren’t able to attract the attention of Atsushi, the Asian hunk who arrived last month, have now set their sights on this new guy….I believe his name is Marcus. He’s not articulated. He’s not all that tall. But he’s accessible! (This proves these girls are suckers for a pretty face!)

But then, after drooling over the new guy, something else happened. Though we convinced April to use the spare Barbie body as a mannequin, it seemed to bother her that there was a headless body in the house. We tried to tell her that was perfectly okay and actually preferable to using the body like this as opposed to bringing in another fit model who, inevitably would become unhappy in that role over time. But no, she did not listen to us and so……  We now introduce you to….Angelina.

Angelina-Tiffanys“April said she’d look for an appropriate body for me, but personally,” I don’t mind this body. Barbies have lovely bodies.”

“But Angelina, you can’t bend your arms, hands or knees. Aren’t you uncomfortable? Liu hated that body.”

“No, no….I’m cool with it. Of course if she brings me something similar to the body I had before, I won’t say no. But I actually like Barbie’s proportions and that they can take that one great pose!!!

Suddenly something totally weird happened as we were getting dressed for the Academy Awards red carpet photo shoot. Angelina started to undress and in a flash, she disappeared! The next thing we knew….there was a new blond with a strong resemblance to the pop star, Gwen Stefani. She was given Lady Gaga’s Brandon Maxwell dolly dress to wear for the shoot. We think she was chosen for her hairstyle which was quite similar to the pop icon’s. But that body…..looked so familiar. And just where was Angelina? Why would she miss the Oscars?!Oscars-Lady-Gaga

It was not until two days later after the red carpet post was published on April’s blog, did Stefani (which is what we’re calling her) disappear and Angelina mysteriously reappeared.Angelina “What happened to you, my dear,” we all chimed in. “It’s okay. It’s all good,” she insisted without divulging details. We noted how Stefani hadn’t been seen anywhere!! Then we realized what had really happened—April switched heads just for the photo shoot. Horrors!!!! Losing your head over a gown!!!! Are there no more ethics left in the world!!!!

We expressed our outrage to April who reassured us that the situation was temporary and that she has located new bodies for each of the new models. As soon as they arrive everything will be put back in order. This incident has us all shaking our heads in disbelief. “What has the world come to?” we wondered. April, we want this practice to stop (though we WILL make an EXCEPTION for the dudes).

“Pssssttttttt……April. Before you put an end to this practice……Ummm. I’m really unhappy with this short, hourglass figure. It really makes me look, well…..old for a doll. Can you get me one of those new bodies??!! I’ve seen on other blogs where doll moms have gotten bodies for their girls. If at all possible I want to be taller, preferably with a natural waistline and removable hands!!! See what you can do, okay. And…..that’s just between us me and you!”